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Tip: How to Stay Morbid Without Making Your Parents Slit Their Wrists

I you're like me, then you're into all things morbid. And if you're parents are normal like my parents... sort of... Then they don't exactly enjoy today's morbid music. Neither do I, for that matter. Emo music just sucks and death metal is just too overrated.

But here's a way both you and your parents can enjoy the more morbid side music has to offer: Teenage tragedy song.

Big in the 50's and 60's and still being made to this day, teenage tragedy songs are about teenagers deaths mostly from the prospective of the lover who survived.

You can find a list here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teenage_tragedy_song

You might want to stick with the songs from 1981 and back if you want to keep your parents from complaining.

TV Doesn't Do Death and Suffering Any Justice

We've all seen TV shows and movie where a family member is an invalid and is dying. Unless you've ever lived with a person who's going through that, you'll never understand what it really feels like.

TV shows are sugarcoated. They don't show nearly as much emotion as there should be. Not the best of actors or directors can capture the torture and pain the family and the ill go through.

If you've never been there, consider yourself lucky. Up until this year, I had never felt it, but I know it now. I wish I never had because seeing someone suffering like this is one of the worst things in the world.

The Shemale Flapper

It started out as a random face I drew with two different eyes and different lips. I decided to make it showing two types of Flapper styles on the same person. (Mostly in the hair and the eyes) THEN I came to the conclusion that the girl (The main one, not the one on the wings) in this picture is a shemale.

Her story goes:

Her name was Jon Kemper, and in the 1920’s when prohibition was enforced, he frequented speakeasies.

One night, Jon saw the most beautiful flapper girl dancing with some other flapper. All night he watched her and he was mesmerized by her beauty. By the end of the night, he was confident and planned on going up to talk to her, maybe ask her out, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw another flapper grab her and kiss her. She didn’t fight either. She rather enjoyed hi.

Embarrassed, he left the speakeasy and didn’t come back for about a week. But when he did come back, he watched her again. His heart ached at the sight of the beauty he’d never hold.

A few hours late, and very tipsy, Jon got the bright idea of dressing up as a woman to attracted the girl he’d been watching. Lucky for him, he wasn’t a big manly man and with the right makeup, no one could tell it was him.

The day he bought some pretty dresses, a couple bras, some makeup, a couple wigs and some jewelry. He shaved his arms and legs stuffed his bra up with whatever he could find that would feel realistic. He sat and tried two styles. One was a dramatic style like Louise Brooks, with the straight, bobbed wig. The other style was more soft yet wild and still a little dramatic, like Clara Bow. This was the one he chose. It seemed to fit him a bit better.

That night, when he entered the speakeasy, all eyes turned to him. Even his drinking buddies didn’t recognize him. The girl who he had watched took notice too, and invited him to dance. The entire night they danced and talked and had a wonderful time.

This went on for a month. It got to the point where he and the girl would go out shopping together and just be together. His dream was coming true. He was finally near her.

One night, as he left to go to the speakeasy, the girl caught up with him and pulled him into an alley. There she kissed him and told him how much she loved him… Or at least how much she loved the woman he pretended to be. Guilt took over him. He was misleading her. He hugged her and told her the truth.

When he was done explaining, she looked him in the eye, took off his wig and kissed him again.

“It’s all right.” She said. “I go both ways.”

Wow, that story sucked. TT__TT

True Miracles from the Mind of a Juggalette

The Insane Clown Posse has been under fire for their rather idiotic song "Miracles", and even as a Juggalette, I can understand why.



In the song, they call things such as the sky and their children resembling them miracles. I the song, the totally disreguard scientific fact and show a lack of education.

More about this can be explained by Zinnia Jones here:



These are some of what I consider true miracles:

- The parents of a little child dying of cancer are told that he/she has only a month to live because the surgery didn't work. Days pass and it seems like the end, but the next day, the child is feeling and looking better. The doctors do tests and find that the tumor is gone and the child lives a long and happy life.

- A new born baby is sick and about to die. There's nothing the doctors can do, and the same as the child with cancer, the baby lives.

- A little boy is pronounced dead when he drowns at the beach, but in front of his parents and the police and whoever else was there, comes back to life.

- A truly deserving heart transplant patient finally receives a replacement organ right in time.

- A kid who's been in and out of abusive foster homes finally, after so many years of torture, finds a loving family who will never abandon them.

- A person who was once shunned by their family is taken back with loving arms when the family realizes how wrong they were.

- A mother or father finally break their drinking habits and become the parent every kid needs.

- A mother and father find it in their heart to forgive the street racer who hit and killed their daughter. (This one seems almost impossible, but it did happen)

- The human race finds peace on earth and goodwill towards men.


Life in itself is a miracle. I understand the wonder and amazement that ICP have with everyday things, because if you look far enough into it, life is a miracle when you see what so many people go through, how some people don't get to enjoy the little everyday things... But the wording and total lack of respect for the educated is... Well, rather disturbing.

Interest Is Killing Me

A wise woman once said:

Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest.

That wise woman as George Lass from Dead Like Me. I really should live by this saying, but somehow it slips away from me.

Things to never get interested and/or get your hopes up in:
- An apprenticeship
- Getting to know family
- Friends actually being there for you
- Anything your father "promises" you
- Contests
- Meeting new people
- Books
- Movies
- TV shows
- Video games
- Music
- Life

This Image...

... Best discribes the past few days for me. Also the past weekend. Or perhaps the past month... Yeah, that's about right.

Spring time: A small rant

This winter I went to sleep in Delaware and woke up in Alaska... About three or four fucking times... In one winter... And according to my father, who's really a not so reliable resource of information, the Farmer's Almanac is predicting next year to be the same. Oh joy.

But I'd take the freezing cold over the high pollen counts any day. For the past 3 days I've suffered what I thought was a cold or flu along with major asthma attacks... And it was allergies. I'm starting to hate all those pretty little flowers that attract the bees and the newly budding trees that give us oxygen. I can't even leave the house. Thank god I'm home schooled.

It's 2 AM and I can't sleep because I have snot running down my throat that won't come up and when I lay down, I choke.

Fuck spring time. Fuck the flowers. Fuck the trees. I want it to be winter again.

The Flapper

For the longest time I've been obsessed with the 1920's and flappers. There's something about them I feel I can relate to.

I don't know much about poetry, so I don't know if this would be considered a poem or not, but it's just some dumb thing I wrote. It's really horrible, so if you don't want your braincells to die, don't read it.

------------------
The Flapper
By Kelly Ann Scheffer

I dance and hike my dress up and party like no lady should.
My face glows with happiness as I chug down the last of my bootleg booze.
The men stop to watch me as I let it all out,
Lust consumes them.
I pretend not to notice them and continue dancing to that taboo rhythm.
To anyone with an untrained eye, I’m happy and care free.
A typical modern woman.
But those who watch me long enough know.
They know to look into my eyes and see what really goes on.
They see in my eyes the anguish and despair that I try to drown out with music and booze.
They see that I’m acting out.
They see the true flappers for what we really are.

Updates

My grandmother survived a blood clot in her lung, which would have killed most people within a few hours. She had surgery where a filter was placed in her abdomen to filter the dozen or so clots in her lungs and preventing them from going up to her lungs or heart.

I got a new dog. A German Shepherd named Deuce. I wanted to name him Spock, but my cousin named him.

I met my step brother while my grandmother was in the hospital, and then I met one of my nephews. He's adorable and I love him. <3

I dyed my hair black because my mom wouldn't let me dye it purple. Next time I'm going for neon blue.

I'm boycotting anything Viacom. For more info on this, see the anti-Viacom videos by Mike Mozart of Jeepers Media on YouTube.